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Subject:  Happy ThanksGiving ALL.. LetZ play Flag Football!

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WiZZy

Little-TON - Colorado

HEre yah go... something new and fun.....WhatZ you favorite here!

Tag... Your IT!

A happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Be safe ! Be merry !

and just in case you need them, here are the official rules of Thanksgiving Family Touch Football, compliments of the WSJ:


1. If you have a healthy relationship with your family and speak to them all the time, you're playing touch. If you see your family only once a year, it's tackle.
2. Find a nice patch of grass. It doesn't have to be big. You don't need a regulation 100 yards. Half the people in your family, if they ran 100 yards, they'd wind up in the hospital for a month.
3. The game must be played before dinner. Nobody wants to play football after Thanksgiving. Nobody wants to wear pants after Thanksgiving.
4. All family on the field! Everyone plays. Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, Cousin Jake, and Regis the one-eyed Jack Russell terrier. Don't laugh. Regis is the best receiver you've got.
5. The following things are prohibited from Thanksgiving touch football: spikes, eye black, sticky gloves, Jets jerseys, running with a martini glass and a lit cigar, Norv Turner.
6. A Nerf ball is okay but you should own a leather football. A leather football is one of the things every home must have, like a dishwasher and a bourbon distillery in the garage.
7. No footballs with wings or propellers or tails or streamers. Here's a good rule: If the football would make Dick Butkus throw up, don't use it.
8. It's two-hand touch. One-hand touch is for lazy people who buy turkey sandwiches out of vending machines.
9. Two completions is a first down. Not as simple as it sounds—just ask the 2011 Indianapolis Colts.
10. No taunting, cursing or back-handed compliments. That's what Thanksgiving dinner is for.
.....

11/24/2011 8:50:42 AM

WiZZy

Little-TON - Colorado

11. Unless you live in California, Hawaii or Florida or some fancy place like that, the ground is probably going to be squishy with cold mud, and someone in your family is going to fall down face-first and ruin his or her Thanksgiving outfit. This is not cause for alarm. This is the highlight of the game.
12. It's okay to play with kids but don't baby them. Just because your 7-year-old niece is playing quarterback doesn't mean you can't intercept her screen pass and run it back for a touchdown. She's got to learn sometime not to throw into triple coverage.
13. The count is five "Mississippi." And it's a full four syllables—not a rushed "MISS-IPPI" and knocking grandpa to the ground.
14. But if you are old enough to have grandchildren, and you sack the quarterback, and do an elaborate sack dance, you will be worshipped forever.
15. Keep the Tebowing to a minimum. The fad is already old.
16. No, you don't get to be "permanent QB." Not if you want anybody to like you.
17. No show-off football lingo. No screaming "trips left" or "zone blitz." Uncle Dale doesn't want to play the "nickel package." He wants to get this stupid game over with, have a vodka and stand in the kitchen eating stuffing with his hands.
18. But there's always one control freak who wants to diagram elaborate plays. Just listen to whatever they say, and forget it immediately.
19. There are only two plays you need for touch football: "Everybody Go Out" and "Everybody Go Deep."
20. No, that running play never works. Ever.

11/24/2011 8:51:11 AM

WiZZy

Little-TON - Colorado

21. Don't throw the ball too hard. This is the mistake a lot of touch football QBs make. They see an opening, and they chuck it 99 mph like John Elway, and peg Aunt Frances in the neck.
22. A little pass interference never hurt anyone. Don't be a wimp.
23. If you throw six interceptions in a row, let someone else play quarterback, or sign with the Washington Redskins.
24. Three-minute halftime. Don't kill the momentum. Anything longer, and aging muscles seize up. Remember: if Daddy sits, Daddy is d-o-n-e.
25. If you're playing on a city street, please don't dent the blue Honda, or I will find you.
26. If you're a random guest at Thanksgiving, it's your job to be good at touch football. Lie and say you "played a little" at Alabama and pray you don't completely embarrass yourself.
27. If you find yourself surrounded by middle-aged men in blue jeans and a quarterback who keeps getting picked off, you're not with your family. You've accidentally walked into a Brett Favre Wrangler spot.
28. Punting is okay, but it's hard. You know that weird fact about how hippopotamuses kill more people than lions or tigers? Well, punts are the hippopotamuses of touch football. Botched punts break more windows and hit more cars than any other play in the game. You can look it up. Be careful.
29. Goes without saying, but if it snows, it's a classic.
30. Take it easy. You don't want any injuries that can't be treated with a bag of frozen peas.
31. If you win your game and stand undefeated, please let LSU know you're available to play in the BCS championship.
32. When you think about it, there's really only one rule for Thanksgiving touch football: Take your shoes off before going in the house, or Mom is going to kill you.

Now which one is your fav! Be nice...and Happy ThanksGiving...from The WIZ~!

11/24/2011 8:52:03 AM

WiZZy

Little-TON - Colorado

Hi NematodZster,,,

My fav...

# 15... Sorry San Diego... RiverZ keep flowing...and yeZZ
Keep Tebowing!! GO BRONCOS!!

11/24/2011 8:53:47 AM

VTSteve

South Hero, VT

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Wiz!

I'll pass on the flag football and watch the NFL while I imbibe my favorite beverages and eat pizza.

11/24/2011 9:54:55 AM

Richard

Minnesota

!!!!!happy thanksgiving!!!!!

11/24/2011 10:30:17 AM

Frank4

Rhode Island

!!!! Happy Thanksgiving!!! Wiz I will watch NFL games..
Go Pat,s

11/24/2011 11:21:08 AM

Darren C (Team Big-N-Orange)

Omaha, Ne.

I am thankful to and for BP members. I look forward to next year. Happy Thanks-giveing

11/24/2011 11:28:47 AM

just bill ( team Pettit )

Adams County

HTG Wiz

11/24/2011 12:43:24 PM

kurty

Cedar Lake, IN.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Don't forget to give to those who are in need.

Pray for all our service men and women. It's because of them that we can enjoy this day.

11/24/2011 1:49:06 PM

tallcorn

Linden, Mi.,

Amen, Thanks Kurty !!!!!!!!!

11/24/2011 2:15:48 PM

bossen

Saskatchewan Fosston Canada

Happy Thanksgiving to you Wiz & all the other growers!
Bossen.

11/24/2011 3:13:13 PM

croley bend

Williamsburg,KY

Wiz, you have way too much time on your hands. Im for no football at all...LOL Really, Im thankful for all the people at BP expecially the Kentucky Mafia..opps..Kentucky Giant Pumpkin Growers. Happy Thanksgiving!!

11/24/2011 3:45:18 PM

OkieGal

Boise City, Oklahoma, USA

Number 23...

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

11/24/2011 4:57:39 PM

cntryboy

East Jordan, MI

Thanks for the chuckle Wiz!

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

11/24/2011 11:14:33 PM

WiZZy

Little-TON - Colorado

.... it's all about having fun.......zzzz

11/25/2011 11:33:43 AM

Peace, Wayne

Owensboro, Ky.

Mizz Bend, & tallcorn...if you guy's & gal's come to KY. to play next year, and I pound yer head into the ground several times, and then STOMP on yer arm w/ kleats on, am I thrown out of the team/league...and if so...for how long? Just curious? PS...used to be a LIONS fan!!!
& by the way...believe it or not...another KPM (KGPG) growers seminar is taking shape!!!! Stay tuned for details!!!!!! Peace, Wayne

11/26/2011 4:49:54 AM

tallcorn

Linden, Mi.,

Peace, Wayne
I don't watch the lions much and now after Thursday I don't think I will be watching at all, unless they throw him out of football for good !!!!!!!

11/26/2011 11:37:50 AM

Total Posts: 18 Current Server Time: 1/20/2026 12:20:14 AM
 
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